I don't know how it happens, but I forget the things in my life that are important to me while dealing with the harsh reality of the real world. I wish I could just push myself into a closet and lock the door, but there is so much living to do sometimes I get ahead of myself.
If I seem like I'm jammering on and on, it's probably because I am. My little westie has had some rather immediate health problems that had to be tended to "tout suite", something which usually sends me into a cold sweat but this time, this time, I handled it. No meltdown.
And when I spoke to CRA today about my numerous outstanding income tax reports, I didn't lose it, I was quite charming indeed. I found out what I needed to know.
The only problem is keeping these behaviours as permanants, as apposed to switching between what is obviously incorrect behavior. I mean there is a limit. It's one thing to be assertive, yet quite another altogether to be pushy. And I know the difference. But if you're being pushy, does that necessarily mean you're aggresive as well? My friends say I'm aggressive. They say that I scare people into liking me, that I'm a good person to have around when the shit goest down.
But I only want to be one person. The one that is accepted, the one that is missed, the one that cries. Will I ever be that person?
Living in a present
Embodying a past
Working with a crystal ball
Made of frosted glass
Judging from a network
Of disenfranchised lives
Not knowing how it can work
Or caring enough to try
Growth is horizontal
On a vertical plane
No one really knows the equation
To make it right again
Life is in the secrets
Floating clouded in the ball
The only thing in question
Is who is in control
I'm not sure if the stuff I write is even poetry. It's meant to be I guess. I have never shared my poetry with anyone, yet here I am positing it on the www for everyone to see.
I think this comes out of my growing frustration with the world in general. I need to get into a situation where a few more things are going "my way" to make me happy. In terms of a job, income and overal fiduciary strength.
********THIINGS I LIKE*******
I LIKE:
-DANGEROUS DAN'S
-420
-BEER
-SARAHJEAN (LOVE SARAHJEAN)
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